


pull me closer (until we collide)

by LexTheMoose



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: Demon Shane Madej, First Kiss, Fluff, Getting Together, Light Angst, Love Confessions, M/M, Slow Burn, implied - Freeform, ish, very light
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-23
Updated: 2019-05-23
Packaged: 2020-03-10 04:10:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,646
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18931003
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LexTheMoose/pseuds/LexTheMoose
Summary: Ryan is seemingly haunted by a spirit that just really wants to hold his hand.





	pull me closer (until we collide)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [LordOfDeath](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LordOfDeath/gifts).



> Welp, this is certainly longer than I expected it to be, but oh well! I started this a few months ago and finished it literally today. I hope you people enjoy it!   
> Special thanks to my friend for reading and helping with this fic <3 
> 
> Don't forget to leave comments/kudos and thank you if you just gave this a read!  
> Find me on tumblr: kingspapercrown.tumblr.com

 

It all started, when Ryan woke to something heavy settling on his palm. He and Shane were all alone in this very creepy house, filming another episode for Unsolved. It took Ryan like four hours of tossing and turning to fall asleep. The floor was too lumpy, or just when Ryan would finally drift off, he'd jerk awake to a knock, or quiet shuffling, that sounded like footsteps. After that, he'd be wide awake again, for at least half an hour, heart beating in his throat like crazy.

And there was someone or _something_ touching him. When he jolted awake by the touch, his first thought was that it must've been Shane. Then, he remembered that Shane wasn't even in the room with him. And why would he be holding his hand anyway? (It might have been a little bit of wishful thinking on Ryan's part).

So naturally, his first reaction was to yell and jump out of his sleeping bag, getting tangled up in it in the process, and nearly twisting an ankle. He took several steps back, frantically looking around in the dark for any presence in the room. Everything seemed to be just as it was before he went to sleep, except for the tall figure standing in the doorway. 

Ryan's whole body gone cold in a split second, only half-aware of the strangled noise that escaped his throat. 

"Ryan?" The figure spoke, in a deep, scratchy voice that sounded a lot like Shane's. _Oh._

"Shane?" Ryan hated how weak he sounded, still on high alert and uncertain.

"The one and only, baby. Well, technically there are a lot of- nevermind that, are you okay, little guy? Heard you screaming your head off." Ryan's eyes adjusted to the dark enough to make out Shane's sleepy, but concerned expression as he leaned on the doorframe.

"Yeah, just... Something touched my hand while I was sleeping."

"Was it furry?" Ryan stared at him.

"What do you mean, was it furry?" 

"You know, rats." Shane scrunched up his nose, and Ryan burst into a laugh, the unease seeped out of his body like it wasn't even there in the first place. Shane really just had that effect on him every damn time.

"I'm pretty sure I'd know if a rat would nestle itself on my hand, dude."

"Yeah, probably."

"It felt like- it felt like a hand." Ryan still felt the weight of it, and it made him shudder. It was so warm, much warmer than a human which was weird in itself, Ryan would've expected a spirit or whatever that was to be cold.

"I'm sure it was nothing, Ryan. Maybe you were just dreaming."

"I know I was awake, dude! I'm not staying here alone, fuck that. I'm moving to the other room with you." Ryan knew he shouldn't have been so snappy, and irritated, but he's scared and sleep-deprived and hated everything at the moment.

"Sure, if that makes you feel better." Shane shrugged. Ryan hoped it would. He grabbed the sleeping bag and his backpack following Shane to the room next door where he's stationed at. They left the camera recording in the Ryan was in, just in case, if there would be some activity later in the night. 

Ryan set up his sleeping bag a few feet away from Shane, who was already climbing back to his own. 

"'Night, Ry. Don't let the demons hold your hand." Shane said in a sing-song voice, his back is turned towards Ryan can see his shoulders trembling, in silent laughter. _Dick._

"Shut up, Shane." If Ryan was grinning fondly, no one needed to know.

The second time Ryan felt the same hand-like weight settle on his own happened when he slept in the same room as Shane once more, on location. They were a good five feet apart, so even Shane with his long noodle arms shouldn't have been able to reach him. Ryan bolted up into a sitting position, jerking his hand back so fast, he hit himself in the chest. "Shane?"

He must've called out too silently, voice shaking too hard because Shane hadn't moved. If Ryan stayed very still he could barely make out his friend's soft snores. Of course, he was sleeping like a baby while Ryan was about to have a fucking panic attack from ghosts or demons wanting to hold hands with him. 

"Well, this worked last time," he muttered, solely talking to himself at this point. He took a big gulp of air and stood up, legs shaking. He wanted to move quickly, but at the same time, he didn't want Shane to wake up and see him pulling his sleeping bag as close to Shane's as he dared. It would've been really fucking embarrassing, and Shane most certainly would've laughed at him. 

As soon as he was close enough to Shane, so it calmed him down a little, he darted back under the cover of the sleeping bag, as if it would protect him. He made sure none of his limbs were hanging out and covered himself up to his nose, which thankfully wasn't too difficult considering his height. He could and _would_  submerge himself in the sleeping bag entirely if he wouldn't need to breathe. 

Sleep hadn't come for a long time for Ryan. He was uncomfortable and hot, but he was terrified whatever kept touching him would do it again if he'd peel the covers off himself just a little. It made his face burn in shame. He was acting like a child and they probably had to throw away half of the night footage because Ryan was acting like a baby.

Sometimes, he didn't know what Shane actually thought about him. They've been friends for years, best pals, and they've never talked about what would happen if Ryan was honest to God terrified one day. Sure, Shane genuinely tried to calm him down a few times, distracting Ryan with silly jokes, and asking if he was okay in that soft tone Ryan treasured to hear. 

If something big were to happen, would he actually believe Ryan, though? 

Because he was pretty sure 'something big' was real, and happening, and instead of waking him up just to find comfort in Shane's teasing, it made him afraid of being judged.

He cared a lot about his friend's opinion, even more so than he probably would've cared about some other friend's. Unsolved brought them closer than ever, but the show also widened the gap between them when it came to their belief system. Ryan didn't care most of the time, despite that, they were still a great duo. It was fine.

Until it wasn't, because he started developing, or perhaps _resurfacing_ some feelings for that tall dork.

Feelings, he vaguely remembered carefully tucking away into the far corner of his mind, into the _Never To Be Touched Again_ box.

And there he was, putting his hands all over it, letting it slowly consume him.

He knew he was overthinking, and all of these messy thoughts would seem ridiculous in the morning, but goddammit, Ryan was scared and guilty and sleep-deprived. He deserved to be a little dramatic. 

That also didn't mean there was no truth to them.

If Shane noticed their sleeping bag was way closer to each other in the morning, he didn't say anything about it.

Ryan's _Flirty Ghost Problem_ (as Shane lovingly referred to it) hadn't ceased, in fact, the occasions seemed to increase in number. The warm hand settled on his own every single time he tried to get some sleep outside of his home. Not just at locations, but in hotel rooms, at Shane's apartment at some point during one of their late-night editing session that turned into a sleepover. The only place he could actually feel safe sleeping at was his apartment. Whatever demon or ghost attached itself onto Ryan, it couldn't reach him there it seemed like.

He thought about the issue constantly, approaching it like he approached his True Crime research. The first few times it was a pretty terrifying experience, but it became obvious whatever was the cause, it didn't mean any harm. Ryan never felt threatened by the warm weight of that hand, even though his own paranoia still scared him a little when it happened.

He took notes of everything he knew or suspected so far. It wasn't human (Ryan was so sure of that), seemed harmless and only occurred when Shane was in close proximity to him. And that last point was the one that intrigued Ryan the most because Shane was the only constant in the situation.

He couldn't just confront him about it though, what would he even say? 'Hey dude, are you astral projecting your hand on mine when we sleep in the same room?' That makes no sense at all. He wanted to tell it to _someone_ though, and Shane was his best buddy. Everyone else would think he was crazy. 

Shane also made the mistake of asking and that's how they ended up at the library. They weren't filming, but Ryan had papers splayed out on the table in front of him. And Shane was sipping his coffee, all soft like he just woke up because it was eight in the damn morning, so he literally did just wake up. 

"Ryan, this is so dumb, nothing is haunting you." Shane sighed after listening to Ryan rambling on about how a ghost attached itself onto him or whatever the hell.

"Then how do you explain it?" Ryan crossed his arms in front of his chest, narrowing his eyes at him and scoffing when Shane only shrugged.

"I don't know, Ry. It could be anything, you could just be..." He cut himself off before he could say anything insensitive. 

"Hallucinating? Is that what you think? That I'm making all of this up?" He asked, looking so hurt, Shane's chest tightened. 

"That's not what I mean at all. But it could have a logical explanation, it doesn't have to be ghosts. You've been really overworking yourself lately, I always tell you to get more sleep and eat enough, you have to take care of yourself, Ryan." Shane reached out to put a hand on his arm, and squeeze gently. He was more serious, seeing how much this incident actually affected Ryan.

"I know what I felt, Shane. And it keeps happening, I can't sleep anywhere outside my house and even then I keep waking up in the middle of the night every single day, because what if today it will happen in my room, too? I just want it to fucking stop." Ryan said quietly, he sounded so genuinely exhausted it nearly broke Shane's heart. He should've taken this more seriously from the beginning. Ryan was also staring at Shane's hand forgotten on his arm, so he pulled it away, not wanting to make him uncomfortable. Even when he wouldn't have minded to keep it there.

"Alright, give me the theories then, little guy! Who or _what_  is your main suspect? I'll get my detective brain ready." Shane grabbed his red pen and flipped open his notebook, ready to connect some goddamn dots. He wrote _Ryan's Flirty Ghost Suspects_  on the top of the page in big blocky letters and showed it to him, delighted by the laugh Ryan gave him when he read it.

"You're such an idiot," Ryan muttered, shaking his head a bit like he couldn't believe it himself. It was an insult, but Shane heard the fondness and gratefulness behind those words.

"Well, I didn't know how to bring it up, because you'll think it's stupid, but the main suspect is uhh- You."

"Me?" Shane's eyebrows nearly rose up to his hairline. "Why would I be holding your hand while you're trying to sleep?" 

He laughed, way too nervously for his own liking. If Ryan figured out that Shane has feelings for him he'll have to deal with that _right then and there_  and he wasn't even ready to fully accept those feelings himself, hoping that ignoring them would make them go away one day. It was about two years of constant pining later when he stopped hoping. The little fuckers weren't going anywhere.

"I mean, not you but it only seems to happen when you're around. And when you're also asleep. Probably. I don't know that yet." Ryan shrugged, helplessly. It did sound pretty dumb when he said it out loud, but it was all he could go by.

"Well, we're having a sleepover then. Your place, today. If your schedule is clear." Shane said, without giving it any consideration, and immediately regretting it. Well, he can't back out now, can he?

"What, why?" Ryan looked up from the process of gathering his papers, eyebrows knitting together in confusion.

"Because we're going to investigate, that's why. We will test your theory. Sleep in the same room, at your place, so we can also check if it's ghost-proof or not." 

"Alright, I'm in." Ryan shrugged, because what could go wrong?

 

A lot can go wrong, apparently. 

"Come on, man you can't sleep on the couch, think of your back. It's almost even too small for me." Ryan snorted when Shane came up with the ridiculous idea of crashing on his couch. He spent a night on it, after having a little too much to drink to find his bedroom successfully. It was the most uncomfortable he felt in his life, the following day.

"Where would I sleep anyway? We wanted to test if we really need to be in the same room for it to happen. 

"Good point." Shane sat up with a defeated sigh from where he was laying on the couch, legs dangling off the side. "What do you suggest then?"

"I don't know, the bed? We slept in the same bed before, it won't be weird." Ryan sounded like he tried to convince himself too. 

"Sure, we can use the bed then." Shane stood and walked towards Ryan's bedroom, just like that. Like the thought of sleeping in the same bed with Ryan didn't make his hands shake with nerves or excitement, maybe a little bit of both, like it made Ryan's. And it probably didn't, Ryan thought, disappointment squeezing at his chest.

Shane's been only in Ryan's bedroom a handful of times, so it felt a little awkward, having him there and not for the reason of Shane pushing him down on the bed, kissing him silly. Ryan stopped that fantasy right there before it had gotten out of hand. Sleeping together would be awkward enough, he didn't need an accidental boner on top it all.

Instead, he focused his attention on the clothes strewn across his unmade bed, and on the chair in front of his desk, painfully aware of how messy his room was. They came here directly after work, hung out and watched a movie they both wanted to see but never had the time for. 

"Sorry for the mess, I haven't had the chance to clean up," Ryan said, embarrassed, scrambling to clean the clothes off the bed and throw them into his closet as an impromptu attempt at cleaning. Shane put his hands on his shoulders and looked him directly in the eyes. Ryan stared back, taken aback and vaguely aware of his face burning.

"Calm down, Ryan. It will be alright. I'm here so the ghost can't get you." He had this soft, barely teasing smile on his face and Ryan thought it was insanely unfair how handsome Shane was. How sweet and understanding, even when he thought all of what they were doing was horseshit. How could anyone possibly expect him to not fall in love? 

"And anyway, if it turns out that I'm the ghost, you just have to learn to live with it." He added with a shit eating grin and let go of him.

"I'm not an expert but I'm pretty sure if you'd be a ghost you'd know about it, big guy." Ryan huffed, finding himself smiling fondly at his friend once again.

"You don't know that. Maybe I don't know I'm dead. It happens in movies all the time" 

" _I_ would know if you'd be dead!"

"You could be a figment of my imagination in the afterlife." Shane deadpanned.

"God, just shut up." Ryan snorted, shoulders shaking from laughter as he goes through his closet to find something for Shane to sleep in. Finding a shirt that fit was manageable, they were roughly wearing the same size. Pants, however, those are difficult. Anything that Ryan owned was most probably way too short and small for Shane. They never had this problem when Ryan was sleeping over at Shane's, all of his clothes are baggy on him.

"I can just sleep in my underwear if that's cool with you. It doesn't bother me." Shane suggests after a few moments of awkward silence of Ryan rummaging through his closet. He turned towards him, considering it for a moment.

"It doesn't bother me either," Ryan said, you know, like a liar.

 

"Shane, your elbow is digging in my back." 

"Sorry." There was some shifting from behind Ryan, and then a knee was pressed against the back of his thigh.

"Still bad."

"Your bed is too small, I have to pull up my legs."

"My bed is normal sized, your fucking bone stilts are too long!"

"Stop insulting them, you'll hurt their feelings." 

Ryan made a frustrated noise into his pillow and turned around to face Shane, they were closer than he thought they would be. He wasn't able to make out a lot of him in the dark, but Shane was definitely looking at him, he could see the outline of his messy hair, and one of his bony shoulders, his collarbone, peaking out from under the shirt, begging for Ryan to kiss it. His gaze flicked back at Shane's who was still just looking at him, with this unreadable expression that broke as soon as Ryan spoke, quietly.

"Here. This is better."

"Yeah, it is." Shane murmured, almost dazed. 

It took a while for Ryan to fell asleep, Shane has been softly snoring next to him for a while before he could doze off too. Shane's breathing actually calmed him down a lot, it was something to focus his attention on, trying to sync it with his own and shortly, he was out like a light.

Until he woke up in the middle of the night, to the weight of a hand on his own. His eyes snapped open and he almost let out a yelp. A weak whimper was what came out instead, that he's really glad nobody heard when he realized Shane's arm was tucked under him, pulling him close in his sleep. His other hand rested gently on Ryan's own between them.

Ryan would've laughed in relief if he wouldn't have been chest to chest pressed against Shane, him breathing into Ryan's neck. Oh God, how was he supposed to go to back to sleep like that?

Somehow he managed to do so, convincing himself that if Shane's hand was on his the demon/ghost couldn't do shit. It sounded reasonable at three in the morning. As for the awkwardness of them basically cuddling, well, he thought morning-Ryan can deal with that. Sleep-deprived, 3AM-Ryan buried his face into Shane's hair, breathing him in, indulging in all that he can take before the morning comes and they probably won't ever talk about it again, in favor of not fucking up their friendship.

When the morning did come, Ryan hoped, before even opening his eyes, that Shane would stay, that they would talk, and maybe, if things go right they would make out, among other things. Once again, he painfully had to come to the realization that his life wasn't a Hallmark movie because Shane was gone. And no, he hadn't been in the kitchen, making breakfast, or in Ryan's small bathroom, running the shower. Ryan couldn't rush up to him and finally yank his stupid face into a kiss, so they could laugh about it later. Shane just fucking left and the dread that settled in Ryan's stomach stubbornly stayed there throughout the whole day.

What was even worse is that Shane had acted as nothing happened. He cheerily told Ryan at their desks that "You see, no ghosts were assaulting you,  I'm not related to your ghost-problem!" 

Ryan had no care for the stupid ghost anymore. How was he supposed to ask Shane to explain himself when he had no right to do so in the first place? He could've asked _Why were you gone in the morning?_  or _You could've texted me at least._  and most importantly,  _I wanted you to stay._

Instead, he laughed, and shut his mouth, afraid of the answers he'd receive. And that was it, they both gone back to staring at their screens. They were back to square one then, always afraid to take the final big step, that leap of faith, because Ryan was kind of a coward. 

But then Ryan realized something, as he looked at Shane, _really_  looked at him. His usually elegantly messy hair was even more of a disaster like he kept carding his hands through it the whole morning. His eyes were tired too, for someone who had enough sleep, Ryan should know, he was right there. Shane acted well put together, but Ryan realized right then and there that Shane was kind of a coward too.

When Ryan finally decided to get his head out of his ass and kiss Shane, they were staying overnight at a supposedly haunted cabin just at the edge of the endless forest behind it. It was creepy as hell, to say the least, so Ryan was glad the cabin had only one room, where they put down their sleeping bags, closer to each other than they normally would, because it was pretty chilly out there.

None of them made a big deal out of it when it was time to go to bed they set up the night cameras and a comfortable silence fell upon them, only broken by one of them quietly snorting at something they saw on social media. 

Ryan doesn't remember falling asleep, but he was certainly woke up by an arm around his waist, and a hand on top of his. Similarly to that night, he woke up cuddled up to Shane. Ryan didn't even open his eyes, his racing heart somewhat calmed down, because it was just Shane, but _holy fuck_ it was Shane. Ryan didn't know what exactly gave him the courage, it could've been the fact that it was probably around 2 or 3 AM, and everything felt less real. He knew if he didn't kiss Shane then and there, he'd never do it.

So he leaned up, eyes still closed, aiming for Shane's lips. He mostly got it right, but he wasn't prepared for how abnormally hot they felt. That's when Ryan realized that something was very wrong. He opened his eyes. It wasn't Shane looking back at him, but a pitch black person shaped mass instead. It had horns, and bright red eyes, boring right into his soul. 

There was silence for a second, then two, then Ryan screamed, scrambling backward, away from that demonic thing, and Shane right behind it, who bolted right up into a sitting position, woken by Ryan screaming fucking murder in the middle of the night. 

"What the hell, Ryan? Are you okay?"

Ryan barely heard him over the blood rushing into his ears at the sight of the demon gradually phasing onto Shane, melting into him as if it belonged there. And Shane wasn't affected by it at all, still staring at him, concerned and lips moving, the words never reaching Ryan. He just saw his friend get possessed, with his own two eyes and he felt like he was gonna pass out. 

Suddenly Shane was in front of him, hands on Ryan's shoulders, telling him to breathe and it felt like Ryan was slammed right back into his body, he was breathing again, taking big gulps of air.

"I think I kissed a demon." Was the first thing he blurted out when he finally felt stable enough to talk.

"What?" Shane starts laughing, and sure, the sheer panic which he said that with is kind of funny, but this was serious stuff. And oh God, Shane was probably possessed and Ryan didn't know what the hell to do.

"Ry? Calm down, it's okay. I'm here, I'm here." Shane's voice had gone soft, and deep, his thumb rubbed soothing circles into Ryan's shoulder. "Tell me what happened, alright?"

"I woke up to uh, someone hugging me. I thought it was you. And when I opened my eyes, it was this black mass, with red eyes and- and horns. I think it was a demon, it must have been. And I think- are you possessed? I just saw the thing going inside you when you woke up. It's- I'm terrified, dude. Please tell me you're not possessed."

Ryan just noticed how violently he was shaking and gripping Shane's arms desperately. 

"I'm not possessed, I promise. I'm alright, see?"

Shane's smile hadn't quite reached his eyes, it was gone as soon as it showed up, leaving his lips in a thin line. In the faint light of the flashlight of Shane's phone that he probably turned on when Ryan was freaking out he could see how pale he was. He almost looked scared, which definitely didn't soothe Ryan's nerves.

"What's going on Shane? You know something that I don't."

"Did you just try to kiss me?" Shane asked, blatantly avoiding the subject. "You said you thought I was the one hugging you and then you kissed it. Does that mean you wanted to kiss me?"

"I- yeah? I do," Ryan stammered, eyes wide and possibly just as scared as he was two minutes ago. "But that's not the point now, stop avoid-"

Shane's lips were on his, effectively shutting him up and Ryan lost all of his willpower, melting into him. Every thought and worry he previously had got thrown out the window because Shane fucking kissed him, he even chased after Ryan's lips after he had to pull back to breathe, and that was a hell of a thought. 

"I'll explain everything. Later, not now. I'm not possessed, you're not haunted and I've been a little in love with you for years now." Shane was smiling, he looked just as hopeful as Ryan felt.

"Okay, fine. I'm probably crazy, but I trust you. By the way, I'm a little in love with you too," Ryan huffed, his heart picked up the pace again, because fuck, everything got so real all of a sudden. The way Shane grinned at him was so worth that confession, he would say it over and over again just to see him smile like that for the rest of his life. He sure had it bad, and he couldn't even care, his heart was so full for this idiot of a man in front of him.

"But if you stab me in my sleep I will haunt your ass so hard, Shane, I swear to God!"

"Is that a metaphor for something? Haunting my ass real hard? Sounds kinky." Shane winked, just to annoy him. Ryan bristled, clearly giving Shane the reaction he was looking for because he had that smug grin on his face again and Ryan was amazed by the fact that he's _allowed_  to kiss it off whenever he pleases.

"Shut up, you're such an asshole." 

Shane indeed shut up, pressing his lips against Ryan's again. And again, and again until none of them felt the need to saying anything else.


End file.
